Spoilt Night

Had a pleasant lunch with donny and junwei today at Kembangan Prata stall(which I never knew of after 17 years of my life living there!). Thanks guys.

Had an awesome dinner with bunch of awesome friends at Marina Pizza Hut follwed by girls' and guys' talks. Loved the company and the freedom. Love you guys.

Had my night spoilt when my mum came home and asked for Oreo to be sent away by this Sunday. =((((((( I love that pooch. Though he's fat and disobedient. I still love him. But apparently my mum doesn't.

She's unreasonable, unreasonable and bloody unreasonable. Just cuz she doesn't like the way things are, people must change things. She's my mum but still, grow up pls. The world is not all about you so stop acting like a spoilt brat okay.

Wanted to return her library books for her on Sunday. Didn't mabage to cuz I was so tired and fell asleep at yc's place. Told her about it and offered to return it on Monday, and got nagged at why I didn't return it. Come on, even if I didn't take the books to return she doesn't have time to do it herself. Really hao xin mei hao bao. Obviously I was pissed, told her to return them herself and she got more pissed. *Rolls eyes* Went to return it for her anyway on Monday, didn't get a single thankyou or sign of appreciation.

Last night I was exhausted after training. Tried to sleep at 2am and she had the bloody tv on. Fine if she's watching it but hell no she wasn't. I told her to switchh it off if she wasn't watching it and she retorted "cannot see i watching ah, why want to save electricity for your dad is it." What the.... Hell. She has something against my dad, or everything against my dad. BUT I DON'T. She's so extremely childish I'm disappointed in her. Hates my dad so wastes electricty, wastes water, ultimate motive being: waste my dad's money. Seriously, grow up will you.

Tonight, she asked for my dog to be sent away. Reason being, she doesn't like him. Not like he likes her either. In my opinion it's more of her fault than his. If a dog sees someone everyday and frequently, he'll get used to you and like you isn't it. My mum is hardly at home, the dogs don't see her so obviously they'll see her as a stranger.Plus it's not like my mum treats the dogs very well. I hate her for this. She thinks everything must go her way. I hate it that there's nothing I can do about it. I don't care if she finds this blog and reads the post. Seriously, I don't.

Much as I love you Oreo and hate to let you go, you'll have to stay at Uncle's. Sorry I don't even know if they'll be able to take good care of you. Sorry I'm letting you down. Love you, boy. Always and always.

Late Night / Early Morning Post

It's 4.33am now and I must be mad to be up now and posting.

I thought yesterday evening would turn out well, but it wasn't so much like what I expected. Hugs yes, kisses yes(no french), but argument - yes too. All because of a little misunderstanding. I somehow feel that he's changed? I mean, he never used to raise his voice at me. He used to tolerate all my nonsense calmly. But today, he was so loud on the way hoome that I'm sure every passer-by could hear him. Quite weirdly, I was the calm one today. I didn't grow angry like I used to. I talked to him slowly, and peacefully. But hell no he didn't take it.

Aunty vaguely mentioned that there might be prayers for his ancestors this weekend so try not to go out. Okay so I misunderstood and told him not to go out. Then for some reason, he flared. He claims that his mum tells me before him to use me to manipulate him. Drastic, isn't it? I told him there was no need to get so agitated - afterall paying your respects is only the right thing to do. But he went on about how he's made plans for the weekend, yada yada. I tried telling him that if this happens in my family, I'd choose to go pay respects over our date. Wrong move, he totally lost it and kept saying he did guard duty on wednesday for nothing(it was supposed to be on saturday).

When I got home, I hurried to ring aunty to tell her what happened and asked her to explain things to him. Shortly after I got a ring back from her and yc was yelling away at her in the background. Bloody rude, the way he speaks to his mum. There, poor aunty was trying to clear all the misunderstandings while he was just scolding her. One thing I can't stand, is when guys are so rude especially to their elders. It's totally disrespectful. Doesn't he love his family anymore?

I know he puts me as priority above all. I know I'm supposed to feel important. But no I don't. I feel freaked out sometimes. He turns down friends' gatherings, family business like this, dinners, and whatever with the claim of it being "so he can spend time with me". Thing is, I've told him repeatedly to go ahead but he never listens. Doesn't the other people in his life matter to him anymore? I don't wanna be the sole person in his life. I'm afraid I won't be able to handle this huge responsibility. Plus I know whatever he doesn, he expects me to do similar stuff, if not the same for him which I know very well I can't cuz i my life, there's a lot more than just him alone.

Dear diary I promise I've really tried. I didn't flare up at him. I didn't shun him, I didn't neglect him. The outcome isn't very pleasant still. The problem doesn't lie with me.. right? I think he's getting obsessive. And sorry, but I can't take that.

It'll be a miracle and a dream come true

I want to go to Oxford University. Not just visit it like i did, but really get into the university and study there. I was mesmerized by the university and now I want so badly to be a part of that university. Sigh. But if only I could.

It's a really great aspiration, I know. More than just difficult to achieve. And what's worse is, I can't just make it. My dad won't have money to send me there and pay for the school fees. So if I really want to get there, it means that I have to get a scholarship. Yes a scholarship which is so out of my reach. I don't even think I can do that much better than fellow Singaporeans, much less vie with the imba Chinese scholars or wherever they come from. Sigh.

It's now a dream. It only becomes reality if I make it happen. Or even if it doesn't, I wanna know and be able to console myself that I've done my best.

Okay it's 3.51am now I have no idea why I'm up and writin this random post but yeah, bye.

UK was awesome fun :)

Hello uk was fantastic.

I'm so so glad I decided to go cuz seriously, I didn't regret my decision one bit. Going to uk gave me time and space - away from my parents' cold wars and occassional yelling at home and away from yc(sorry).

First few days weren't the best. Missed my mum and aunty i started tearing at the airport and looked stupid. YC's constant texting almost drove me up the wall and I couldn't really enjoy myself. Even if I did, his one message a day kinda ruined it. But well, I must admit I still miss him. Hey, that's a good sign right. :)

Loved Nettlecombe so much I absolutely won't mind staying there. It was so peaceful, I'd love to just stay there do river and slope studies and maybe look after some sheep or dogs, haha. Cotford St. Luke and Bishops' Lydeard were awesome too! At least they had friendly people hwo waved like we were friends as compared to people from Taunton who told other people to get out of the way. All in all I think I'm in love with the suburbs. No shopping, don't care. Who's gonna look at me in the suburbs anyway(other than the sheeps and dogs)!

Sad thing is, we didn't get to see snow. Closest thing I saw was FROST :):):) and it was pretty! Good enough la, huh. Though it was kinda cold, it was mostly cuz of the wind. If not for the wind the weather would have been perfect! But still, NO SNOW. =( zzz.

Little annoying stuffs happened but well, we're all still friends so Peace k. That little loudness and puppy face isn't going to kill anyone. Just annoying at times, haha.

Glad to be home / Not glad to be home? I'm not too sure myself. Back to facing my parents at home, back to the almost non-existent ettiquettes of people here. Good thing, back to all the people I've missed. Oh well I guess that makes it neutral.

Lastly, I love the suburbs of uk and the people there. :)
And... thanks you people who made my trip sooooooooooo memorable. T'was the best trip I ever had, I swear. You know who you are. ;)

Happy 1st Year

Happy First Year my dear. :)

Fairytales really don't exist, or do they?

Today was supposed to be an early celebration for our 1 year anniversary. One year ley! Wow. But somehow I just don't feel that elated, and I have no idea why.

Been talking to I.Lim quite alot these days. About yc and relationship problems. It's a nice feeling for us to be still such good friends, as compared to other couples who were once tgt and hardly speak a word to each other anymore. I am truly thankful for that. However, we may be friends, really good friends. But I still feel that it isn't right for us to talk too often? Your girlf might be generous and understanding, but no matter what she's still your girlf. And regardless of how much she says she doesn't mind, trust me, she does. Thanks for lending me your listening ear till 5plus in the morning. I believe we're still really great friends. But I don't think I should bug you with my problems anymore. It seemed okay before cuz you weren't attached, but now you are. I really do appreciate it when you said, "fz you can call me when you have any problems." Thanks, but I really don't think I can, or should anymore. Time should be spent with your gf, not me. You should be talking on the phone with her, not me. Because right now she's your gf, not me. I've lost that privillege long ago.

Yc yc yc yc. I really don't want us to end. I think I still love you, adn I don't want to make any decisions I might live to regret. Pls show me there's still hope for us. I promise I'll try on my part. As best as I can. I don't know if I'm prepared to lose you, and ultimately your family.

Recommendation of the day(night)

I think I've fallen in love with Luther Vandross, especially his song "I'd Rather".
His voice is awesome and he's charismatic to the max. Okay I am in love with him.

I guess this is the end.

Hello.

I'm feeling weird now, not sure how exactly I should be feeling.

I. Lim's got a new girl. I feel happy for him and of course, they have my blessings. Why then, do I have this tinge of sourness in my heart? Sigh. I know I should be happy for him, his girl is pretty and sweet and I want them to be happy tgt, if possible to live happily ever after. But somehow I feel lost. Those memories are rushing back all at once and I miss them. Seeing him so proud of their pictures and her as his girl, I can't help but feel a little sadness. I realize I kinda miss him. As a friend, or maybe a little more? Probably a really really good friend I once had.

I wonder if he remembers the stuff he once said to me even after I left, that I'd be his one and only in his life and he'll love no one else. He probably forgot about it after the little accident he had. And no, I can't expect him to fulfil those promises. That's too selfish. Maybe I should be happy he still remembers me. Maybe not what we've went through, but probably as a friend. That's good enough(I guess).

Ivan please please do not return to your old ways. If you love her, you musn't let her shed a tear. I hope you'll treasure her, since you said she's the love of your life. Do all you can for her and give her the happiness no one else can give.

I guess the jar of hearts will be put behind, kept in past memories. Take care, my dear friend.
I'll cheirsh what I have now, and so will you.



like it says, "once upon a time.."

Friends are the best thing that ever happened to me

Happy Birthday A. Lee!
Today was an awesome day at town. I know we all had fun! :) Though we hardly even know each other back in cchms, I'm still glad we're kinda in the same clique and we get along? Haha I know what you did back in cchms, but I'll forget it. Afterall the present is more important that the past isn't it. Hope you had a smashing birthday celebration, and I was impressed with how sporting you were and gave in to everything we made you go through. You've got guts. Haha that's how an 18 year old should be k. Stay happy :)

"I like A.Lee because he's so cute.." Aww, man.
Our dear Saints' Idol.

(pictures another day cuz it's not done being uploaded!)

Not the way I want it

I wish my posts didn't have to be so filled with unhappiness.

Romeo, Save Me

Sorry long time no blog, I know. Been really really busy with the online boutique. zzz.

Saturday's A's birthday celebration:)
But guess what, when I told yc about it, his reply was "so you're not meeting me?" Oh please, can't you for once say sth like "Okay go ahead, hope you have fun :)" Wouldn't that have been a whole lot better? You ought to learn, my dear. To be independent. I'm your girlfriend, not your nanny. Came online, and you were all sad and down. Said you were stressed and tired.. And lonely(I seriously hope you weren't hinting abt satucrday). Told you to rest, asked you what happened. Waited for so long and all you could say was "dunno". I won't know what to do like this, right?

I wish you weren't so dependent. I wish you could grow up and really, be a man. One who can support himself, not always having to rely on me, be it emotionally or whatever. I once told you thta you cant rely on me forever and what you said, I didn't have much to counter. "Why, but you'll always be with me what right. So I can always rely on you." Speechless, yes.

I really like all my friends so much better. You know, the more you show reluctance and dejection whenever I hang out with them, the more I feel that I should go out with them and not let you restrict me. Since you claim you know me very well, shouldn't you know I'm not the compliant kind by now. How about the days I woke up early just to send you off to exams, when I waited for you to finish your exam just to go home with you. Isn't that time spent tgt. And youknow, the time we spend tgt is 21854846329 times more than other couples. Overdose isn't it. In case you didn't know, overdose kills, no matter of what.

p/s. Sorry for the neglect for like, 20 days dear diary. =/

Doomsday! tomorrow.

Today's a good day, definitely better than tmr will be.

I really suspect the school's trying to get everyone into a state depression. Giving us all our results on the same day? I think they're trying to kill us. Perhaps that's why the only sane prinicipal in the college left. Her heart must've been aching for us J1s! =/ okay kidding I don't know why she left, but it's sad.

Back to the topic. Regardless of whether I get promoted or not, tmr will still suck. If I promote, I'll be sad for those who don't. If I don't, naturally I'll be devastated. Sigh. Not a win-win situation, huh. I'm afraid some of my friends might not make it, as much as I want so bad for them to be able to. Xiong is one such case. We're not exactly the best of friends, but he's a great guy and I hope he'll be okay. And B, just do whatever you think is correct. Better for your future, and can lead you to a really successful life. I know we'll all be happy for you no matter what decision you make at the end of the day. Just be brave! :)

Good luck good luck good luck to all 36 saints and dear classmates. Pls promote!!! Good luck to yj too, don't let your mum worry! God bless, everyone.

More than a friend, you are.

Dear Pris,

Thanks for everything today. Not only for the gifts, for sharing your emotions with me, and keep reminding me I must treasure yc. Don't worry, I will. More than anything, this afternoon was a great day spent, with someone who's more than a friend but like what you said, someone who's like family. I also appreciate you for always being there for me and showing your concern whenever something goes wrong. I promise, Pris, that you can always fall back on me.

No emotional day today too, so I'm really glad. Felt like I could really forget everything and just realx, chill and have fun. I'm happy seeing you so joyful and optimistic. Videos were awesome, just that they kept hanging(not cuz I was there) and I didn't really get what was going on in RV. I bet you had fun with my friendster profile you crazy girl :)

Lastly, your speciality pasta was delicious and I'm not lying! Because it was so good, I'm not gonna tell anyone else that's the only thing you can make. :D

Such a dive of confidence

Skipped sch yesterday, met up with T to settle some stuff for our blogshop. Heard sch was quite boring and unproductive, so I guess it's fine.

Last night, yc started his insecurity and lack of confidence mood again. I don't understand why he always does that. It's getting really tiring. It's not that I don't want to share his burden with him and hear him out when he needs a listening ear. Of course I will. But how can anyone tolerate it when he does it every once in a while? And now he's saying he doesn't really wanna tell me about it cuz it'll affect me and I'll become unhappy. Then how can I understand and how should I be able to help him.. The thing is, if he doesn't wanna tell me I feel he shouldn't start by saying today's a sucky day or sth. Or that he feels down - but don't wanna tell me why. Sigh, he's really hard to deal with. I think we probably don't understand one another that well after all. =/

One of his texts went like this, "... have I no weight left? nothing I say or do matters? or am I even capable of something remotely meaningful. why. why why. am I so pathetic." Told him he's not, said alot of things, but it's not like they helped cuz apparently he doesn't feel any better. Like my words don't even mean anything and doesn't take any effect on him. What then does he want me to say? Told him I might want to work at the IT fair this end of Nov since he'll be having his exams anyway, and he's not really supportive of it. Once again he succeeds in making me feel bad by saying "If you think you want to den go ahead ba. guessing you will be with T right.." It's kinda obvious he doesn't want me to? I really really don't understand why he's doing this. I feel so restricted when I'm with him. I can't do things I like, I have to spend time with him. I can't have piercings cuz he doesn't like it. I want to go for dance lessons, he says "later other guys touch you" and no, reassuring the kind of dance I want to learn doesn't involve that didn't matter to him. Now when I want to work, it's like this. AGAIN. I'm really tired, darling. Seriously. I still want to lead a life of my own, do things I want to do. According to him, he "just want and hope than I(he) would feature some part in your(my) plan. I don't want to be left behind. because right now you are moving so fast. I feel left behind and inferior already." Look, how good can your girlf feel if her boyf is forever feeling so low in confidence. So I have to do things not as well to make you feel better? This is draining me and I. Hate. It. It's not making any sense either.

Making an ass out of you and me

Please, don't always assume you know everything and whatever you perceive is correct cuz no it's not. Why can't what I say stand? You just have to go "But that was the kind of feeling I got when I saw your expression." Ya my face is like that so what. You claim to know me so well that you say "I know you're unhappy when you look like this". Have you ever thought maybe it's cuz you don't know me as well as you think? Ask my friends how my face is like when I'm tired. Listen for yourself, if it's exactly the same as what you see.

How can you demand to be more impt than my friends, then?

Boring-est school days

ZZZ. This whole week of school is gonna be dedicated to pw. And it's gonna be so extremely boring. Didn't go to school today cuz I was dead tired and had a bad muscle ache from last night's friendly match at NYP. I think my legs are breaking. My right arm too. =/

Anyhow, I like my pw group cuz at least we're making progress, with most of the credit going to xw of course. She's the man. Hope you guyss had fun in school today, though I know xw will most probably be nagging and complaining away. Haha.

You guys are the best

Birthday this year has been awesome, thanks to everyone.
I totally enjoyed myself and I love every single present okay. For some reason, 90% of them so happen to be pink. Haha I know I like pink, but still.. no need so pink la.

To uncle and unty and yc, thanks for the cake(s) they were really yummy. Chocolate!!! :B Thanks to my crazy friends in school who bothered to surprise me. :) Thanks to everyone else and pris for the personalized gift, you guys were really really sweet.

I enjoyed my 17th. :D

Today's still the 2nd.

Lol I have no idea whether people get the dates mixed up or if they just don't know when my actual nirthday is. XY, YJ, X and S wished me happy birthday over the past few days. Haha thanks but a teeny bit too early. Plus Aunty gave me a present yesterday. I thought it was for Children's Day okay!! Then she said Happy Birthday. Haha is this weird or what. Anyway I love the present, thanks ALOT!! :D

Boy, I really really love her. I texted her thank you for the present and this is what she replied. I felt really touched and warmed when I read it okay. It goes "Glad you like it. You are erally special to us. Wish you a very happy and blessed birthday. Love you always. :)" Omg Omg Omg. How can I not love her. It was so super sweet of her and you don't know how much it means to me.

Also I guess my disappointment about my Dad not remembering my birthday was kinda uncalled for. Sorry I had so little confidence in you, Dad. And thanks for the dinner last night. Although it was only the both of us, it felt so much better than last year's cuz at least there was no arguments or awkward silences since Mum and Bro wasn't there. Still, why does it seem that we can only be happy this way..

Thanks my dear boy for understanding and allowing me and my Dad some private time. I really really appreciate it. And thanks for agreeing to come along with my friends when I say we plan to go out after sch tmr. I'm glad you didn't insist that you wanted to spend my birthday with me alone. Sorry but I guess that would've totally ruined my birthday. =/

I finally finally got to meet up with you!! ^^

Hi E this post is dedicated to you.

I swear I had fun the whole of today and seeing you again really made my day. Haha you're still the same cheery, bubbly and pretty you. Glad we were able to take some(okay maybe more than just some) snapshots for the memories today. Can't wait to see you again, but I wonder when will the next time be.....

And to the rest of the ppl who were at the bbq today, thanks for everything you guys made it fun. Unfortunately I was busy coughing my guts out I couldn't eat much. Thanks I(C) for bringing me food and drinks. Haha I know you treat me well la! My dear sis. :)

Tired, and still coughing. Better go to bed now. Later I cough my lungs out. ZZZ, Nights.

Some Random Pictures:

okay i look like some pig here..

unglam shot(thanks to E) with sis.

:)

???

Maybe that's the way you feel

Today's been a generally good day other than yc bringing up tmr's bbq and stuff. Did a little shopping and caught "Painted Face" or sth like that. His choice. He just loves chinese films like that. Well anyway it was an alright movie. Even though at one time of the day, he said we should sit and or a talk. Again.

I'm sorry but you actually said you expect to be more important than my friends? Kinda sucks when I heard it. You made me speechless, just like that.

Are you for real?

When you say you understand, do you mean what you say? Then why is it that you agreed to give me time off to study and on the other hand keep saying things like "hey we haven't caught a movie in a long time," and "when i see my friends with their girlf i feel so empty cuz you're not here." Perhaps I read too much into things. To you these messages might show that you care and miss me. But to me, it's making me feel bad and guilty and sorry. I know I've been neglecting you but why won't you take the chance to chill, just hang out with your friends? I know I wouldn't mind that.

Tonight you tell me that I've neglected you, I admit and I'm sorry about that. But exams. Promotional exams. Didn't you say you would understand? So even though I made the effort to go all the way down to your house and skip a day of studying to surprise you on your birthday and on our 10th month anniversary, and sent you a silly postcard to show that I still care and remember you, all those didn't count? They didn't show that I care? Then I really don't know what counts. Did it matter how I felt deep down inside me when you said all these? You say you don't expect anything. If that's the case, why weren't those sufficient?

You say for people your age, girlfs are your everything. W/o them you don't wanna hang out with your friends cuz they brought theirs. W/o them you won't even turn up for gatherings/ Not even for your friend's birthday. I really seriously honestly don't see the logic in that. But fine, cuz I can never outtalk you anyway. I wish you'd understand, ppl my age, friends do matter alot and are really important to us. Whenever you ask questions like, "how important am I to you" and "am I of the first placing in your heart?" I really don't know what to say. You even go to the extent of asking "are your friends more important than me?" I think that's going overboard. Although I love you, I still want my own personal life, thank you. My world doesn't only revolve around you.

I'm sorry I know what I said sounded terribly mean. It might be a fit of anger, a release of my emotions. But somehow I mean it. Now you know why I need to have a private blog? Sorry, I still do love you.

It's time to relax, finally!

Whooooo promos are over and it'a huge relief, for me and for everyone else. Though I didn't sit for my final paper today(which was geography), I'm still quite happy cuz my common test and MSA results will be used. And I think and hope it'll be better this way than if I sat for today's paper. Haha. =X

Anyway thanks Pris calling me last night. Don't worry I wasn't crying. It was the stupid blocked nose. Anyhow, you cheered me up and encouraged me, thanks dear. Hope you're busy to your neck with work and friends. No more emo-ing okay!! Call me, anytime. :)

Slacking day today. Went to see a doctor and came back home. Guess I'll be staying at home, still tmr. Date with yc! :) Anyway I didn't miss much today since I heard the crazy guys only went out for lunch and then headed home. Quite a mild celebration for end of promos? Lol i was kinda expecting much more from them. Well I gues everyone's tired so I hope we can all rest well and recover from all the exam stress. And yc's mum is an angel. She has been texing me all those encouraging messages not to give myself so much stress and all that. Haha she's ultra lovable. I won't mind having her as my mum. XD

Econs & Lit, done and over with.

Finally two more papers down. I thought Econs was quite okay cuz I wrote double of what I did for CTs. Hope my marks double like proportionately. Haha, fat hope I know. Well what's done is done. All the best to myself and everyone else for Maths tmr. :)

My dad's going to India on the 2nd of next month. Yes the day before my birthday. I know he's going there to seek some "medical help" (according to him) for his aches and coughs and whatever other ailments. I hope it really helps him and he'll return all safe and healthy. Kinda disappointed. Not sure if he's forgotten about my birthday. But well I admit my heart turned a little sour when he told me when he was leaving. Didn't say anything though. Not planning to spoil his plans. My family's falling apart, seriously. The day we can go back to the happy family we were before will be my happiest day. Somehow I feel it's gonna not gonna be a fruitful wait.

Literature & Econs tmr, I'm so screwed.

Catherine please study and stop stoning!!!! zzz.

It'll take a miracle for me to be able to attempt my papers tmr. I seriously haven't touched my Othello text, not to talk about the unseen poem section. And my Economics is.. gg. I hope all that I've done during tuition helps. I hope. Otherwise I'm a goner.

Anyway, saw E's MSN pm. I think it's kinda cool.
"Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end."

Well good luck to me for the whole of this promos. I'll be relieved when it's over. The worrying can come back when marking's over. =/

First Day of Promos

Don't know if I should be happy or not. GP's done and over with, but then it also means the other papers are coming. And I totally haven't touched Geography. Globalization = !@#$&*. sigh.

And Dad hasn't been feeling well. I'm worried, but I don't know what to do. I can feel myself drifting away from him. I still can't believe what I saw. I hope he'll recover from his illness soon. I don't hate him enough to want him dead. Please get well soon, Dad.

Exams really suck. Thanks to my adorable friends who texted me last night. One of the texts went like this. "We're so gonna own promos:)" lol. I love you guys, all of you. I swear I'm gonna tear again when the time comes for B to leave. =(

Totally disgusting.

I despise you for what I saw, for what I never believed to be true. I hate you.

Happy 10 months :)

It's been 10 months(and 1 day) since we got together. Seems like quite a long time huh. But I know we still have a long way to go. I love you baby. :)

Self Revision Day

Overslept, again. if not for C's phone call I wouldn't even realise that I overslept. Must've been cuz I overestimated my own capabilities and studied till 3am this morning. Shitzx.

Anyway since I was late, I might as well just stay home to study. And I'm glad my dad finally went out. I can't stand how inconsiderate he can be, talking so loudly over the phone when I'm studying. Yet he has the cheek to always complain I don't study. Thanks dad, but how can I study when you're always talking like no one can hear you. Do you know you're always contradicting yourself, too? You always say you don't see me studying. Fine, so I studied at home last night. And you told me not to study? Yes yes I know it's late and all, but it's my prime time to study. You should try understanding this, dad. Cuz it's been like this with me since years ago. have you been noticing?

Mum & Dad's still not talking. I don't know myself if I want them divorced or just remain the way they are. At least I still see them everyday. What if they go their separate ways? I won't know who to follow.

Love's Labour's Lost

"Zounds! Zounds!" was kinda all I could remember from the 2h15min play. Sorry most reverend Signior Shakespeare. Lol.

Okay the play wasn't exactly typical boring literature. It was a comedy. My favourite character was Don Adriano De Armado cuz his words were all heavily Spanish accented. Lol and the thing is, he could exclaim "Oh!" in an ultra high pitched tone I thought was really gay.

Nice play, nice day. :)

p/s. dear pris please be okay. Get rid of all the bad thoughts cuz they ain't true, girl. Believe in yourself, and be strong. I know you can :)

Spoilt surprise, but happy still :)

Happy Birthday darling. Today's your actual big day. :)

Though your maid gave me away, I'm sure you originally thought I wasn't going over. Lol you were grinning from ear to ear. Silly boy. Happy Birthday I hope you love your new boxers :B

So many birthdays this month!!

Firstly, Happy Birthday to N I(C) H P J S T D K I(L) E! Haha soooo many birthdays. Like, ELEVEN of 'em! whoo cool sia. ;) Well I hope each and every one of my dear friends enjoyed their birthdays and are all extremely happy. :D
Plus my special one, whose birthday falls on the 12th. Happy Birthday to you too. <3 color="#000000">at Aston's@The Cathay. Had lunch together, and walked around for awhile before going home. Mug mug mug. =/ I woke up quite happy today. But didn't end the day quite as happy. Sigh. Why can't A and T just get along!!!! It's getting kinda annoying, seriously. They both say they won't mind if we talk to the other. T means what he says, thank goodness. But A, she's obviously pissed when I talked to T. Zzz I hope they'll grow up. Like really mature. Yes, A's my friend, but so is T. I won't turn my back on either one of you. I just hope that A, you'll understand and at least give in a little? When T said bye, he didn't leave you out. Though you rolled your eyes at him in return and put on a really black face. Lighten up, will y'all? At least think about the kind of awkward atmosphere you create for your other friends. And A, I was totally hurt and taken aback when you just swept my hand off your shoulder. No thanks for that, it felt really sucky.

Drrooowsyy day...

I intended to study out today at Macs@pp after school but seems like I failed. Was ultra drowsy after taking the medicine and I was half sleeping half reading don't-know-what. zzz.

Okay since it isn't fated that I study today, I'll study tmr. Tmr I swear I'm NOT gonna take the medicine again unless the annoying headache decides to come back. It's fated that I go to sleep today. And I'll do just that. With pleasure.

Buh-bye it's bed-time. Yawn.

Just bear with this for awhile..

I'm sorry. I know this is some shitty decision. Selfish and inconsiderate. But I really have to. I know I've told you before, academics takes priority. I don't want this to happen either, but you can never understand what I mean when I say I need time and space for myself. You always agree, but in the end you make me feel bad cuz I can't spend time with you having fun like we did before. I really need to buck up cuz I've been way too slacked during the past few months.

Please please please. It's gonna be for just two weeks. I promise I'll return by your side as soon as my exams end. Sorry, don't hate me..

Happy Birthday My Love

Happy Birthday(in advance) my sweet boy :)

Though my presents to you weren't lavish and grand and branded, I hope you still like them. Thanks for your company today, cuz I totally enjoyed it. Dinner was awesome.. Well, actually I think being anywhere is awesome, as long as I have you by my side. I Love You, and I want you to always be happy.

Sweet dreams darling. <3

Weird Weird Day

Guess what. I didn't go for Lit again!!! =X
This time I didn't over sleep I swear. I woke up, but didn't feel like going. I decided that since I was so so tired, going wouldn't help. I might as well sleep in longer and study later. Well I thought that was a wise choice, heh. =)

Went to Macs@PP to study and things were going great at first. Managed to finish my Econs notes on Cost Of Productions. Happy like nothing :D

Then came along some random 20++ year old guy. Settled down at the table in front of me, set up his laptop and did his own stuff. After a while, he kept turning back. I thought he was looking at the mirror behind me or looking around for some power point for his laptop since I was at the corner seat. After which, he randomly turned around and apologised. Like, huh? O.o I couldn't hear what he was saying so I took down my earphones. This was what he said, "Um, Sorry." I think I gave him a "For What" face and he started explaining, saying that he was talking very loudly on his cell and thought he disturbed me. Lol. The thing was, I didn't even know if he was talking on his cell cuz One, I didn't look up at him and Two, I didn't hear him cuz my music was blasting. So I told him it was fine cuz I couldn't hear him anyway. Okay, settled. Then he asked me to look after his laptop for him cuz he wanted to go.. um, dont know where la, couldn't really hear him(other earpiece still blasting). So I just said yeah sure no problem la just go I'll take care. Before he left, he asked if he could get a drink for me. Okay, grateful guy wanting to thank me I thought. But I said no anyway. And guess what. He came back awhile later. Yes, with drinks. -.- He put one cup in front of me and started smiling. I gave him a scrunched up face and said "I thought I said I didn't want" then he went, "But I bought alr, I can't finish both by myself." Yeah sure, that's cuz you weren't supposed to get two cups. It's kinda funny and I just said, "slowly drink lor." HAHA. Weird Guy. I accepted the drink at last, but then.. hefoil my plan la. I wanted to get a meal. Then now I got drink buy ala carte things more expensive. So I ended up skipping lunch. Not a bad thing also la. Lol so I think I should thank him.

He left me alone to my studying for awhile, and turned back yet again. Wth. However this time he turned around to say bye. Haha, happy sia. Finally got some peace and quiet. BUT before he left, he said "Let's keep in touch" with a huge huge grin. Maybe like =B. Mine was =/. He asked for MSN and number. I wrote down my MSN (he even provided the paper-.-) and returned it to him. Guess what, this line came and totally stunned me, "urm, number also please." Wlao. Cannot get the message ah. !!!!! Fine, I stupidly gave it to him too. Don't know wth I was thinking. I thikn I gave him a wrong impression by giving him those details. He took another step, this time asking if I had plans tonight. I thought my response came a little too instantly. =X I went "Yes yes I have!! I'm going to my boyf's house for dinner!"Lol. He looked quite sheepish la but then he finally left. Whew. Weird Guy Of The Day.

Otherwise today's been good. Saw dear dear E who was as aunty-ish and clumsy as ever, almost knocking the people around with her bag and her animated way of speech was amusing. No doubt my bestie sia. Haha keep it up. :)

Yes, finally!

Good News Of The Day - Catherine officially started studying today :D
keep it up keep it up and carry on keeping it up. haha.

Bad News Of The Day - There is Lit lesson tmr. 3 hours again. Plus, I haven't done my assignment cuz E hasn't sent it to me. Not that I mind :)

I know it's kinda late, but Happy Birthday(:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU, W!! :D

W's an awesome friend/classmate to have. He cracks you up, and springs surprises by actually doing his assignments sometimes. 10 of us went to W's house at about 10 in the morning to give him a surprise. He opened the door for B to enter first, and then we all appeared and sang hima Birthday Song, presenting him his tiny little cake. His stunned and just-woke-up face was so adorable we couldn't help laughing. His presents consisted of Wilson tennis balls, a Pierre Cardin wallet from all of us and some puzzle treasure chest that he wouldn't have been able to solve so Bird did for him. He was super happy :)

So we went into his house and settled down while he went to change. For a guy, he takes ages to get changed. 20 minutes!!! We saw him walk out of his room, walk into another room, then into a third room. Don't know what he doing sia. So busy. The funny part was that we didn't plan to go out, but just to stay at his house an chill but seeing that he had changed into jeans and a shirt and put on his contacts, we decided to go out for lunch. Lol. Oh yeah sth important. Thanks to W, we all ended up ultra sweaty. He said let's walk to Kallang KFC cuz it's only 10 - 15 minutes walk. Please, we walked for about half an hour in the hot sun!! -.-

W you better better remember us bunch of awesome friends k :p

10% productive day =/

Though it's such a pity I missed my lit lesson today, I met up with some friends to study. Or do some work. Have to complete my work before I can even think of studying.

Not very productive cuz I met D and friends at the airport at 12pm++ but we only started studying at around 5. Kinda screwed. That's cuz we went all the way to Taka for Seoul Garden until 4pm++ before we finally made our way down to the Esplanade Library to proper study. On the bright side, I got a Seoul Garden treat from D. He simply refused to let me pay. Thanks!! :D Didn't spend a single cent the whole day. So proud of myself. Haha. Had fun at lunch even though the company was a little bit.. embarrassing. Imagine having lunch at an ultra crowded place with a bunch of rowdy loudhailers. One of D's friend, B was a total joke. Lol. Everything he did was hilarious. We laughed through lunch about the stupid things he said and did. And after lunch, they just had to pour their water and whatever liquid they found onto the sizzling hot pan. For the wow smokey effect. -.- Boys will always be boys I guess. Just had to bury my face then.

Well I'm just glad that D & I can still be good friends and hang out like this after what happened last year. Thanks for today, D. (:

s-l-a-c-k-e-d.

Oops. Woke up late, didn't go to school = NO OTHELLO! Yay :D
Going out to study though. Must have some discipline. Otherwise I'd be stuck in front of the com for hours. Like now.

Okay bye going to study. Airport!!! :D

Othello is awesome. not.

I thought Literature would be relatively simple as compared to the other subjects, especially at H1 level. Hell no, I was wrong wrong wrong. Skills wise, it's exactly the same as H2. Content wise, we're doing 2 books less. Hooray.

We're gonna have a test on Othello tmr! D:
I don't know why people are interested in his life. It's most probably fiction too. Just cuz it's written by Shakespeare. Argh.

Cat pls start studying!!! I haven't started and this is bad. 3 more weeks. Better start soon. No, NOW. But I still have "the magnificent Moor" to study about for tmr. Just great.

And i pray and hope and wish. That dear Pris is gonna be good and well. That nothing bad's gonna happen to her and that she's gonna win. If anything happens. Jy's not getting her way.

Lalala, I'm happy today~

:D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Went back to cch today, AND OMG I WAS SO DARN HAPPY WHEN I SAW MY FRIENDS.

I didn't wake up according to plan today. Got up at 1030 instead of 0830 so I didnt manage to get back to cch by 10 when they ended :( sad thing. By the time I got back, no teachers were left. So okay fine. Then I SAW MY FRIENDS!! :D happy happy thing :) It's funny how we weren't the best of friends before, but we were elated and estatic to see one another again after such a long long time. I love you guys(& girls) - J, J, L, S, I, and the rest! Didn't really hang out with WM and friends, but I gues they're fine with it anyway so I went to pp with J J L S and T. I swear we had fun and that once boring place became cool all over again lol. Had lunch then did some window shopping for awhile, and finally went to the arcade. Heh. We met YH and R after that. I have no idea why, but YH always looks so scared of me upfront but dares to crap on MSN and texts. Silly girl, but I love her :) I think she was really startled when U hugged her, but I won't be seeing her for another few months! So yes I had to hug her. I admit I was biased. I didn't hug R. I'll be seeing her tmr anyway. Haha sorry, R.

T's celebrating her 17th birthday on the 31st, so JJ and me got her the kind of walking balloon. It was ultra adorable okay, and T chose a turtle. Haha, what a choice. She was damn happy she couldn't stop grinning. But then again, she was too embarrassed to "walk" her pet balloon turtle so she took it home in a carrier, with its head sticking out for air. Oh my T, she's just so adorable :)

I love them bunch of friends :)

It's the official last day of term3

School's over for this term, not counting Teachers' Day celebration tomorrow cuz I won't be turning up anyway. I'd rather return to my secondary school, although I don't exactly know why. Is there anyone or anything in there that's worth me remembering? I don't know. My secondary school days weren't exactly wonderfully awesome. Thanks to M, for all the backstabbing. But still, I've made some pretty good friends there and yes I have to admit there were good times.

I got to meet people like E, MX, WM, BL and I there. They were good friends, the best I had then anyway. But somehow, I just felt distant at times. In the case of E, she's been my best friend since we were in secondary1. After we were streamed into different classes in secondary 3, we drifted apart(more or less). I don't understand why she has to be afraid of her friends. Afraid they won't like what she's doing. I didn't think she had to lie to hang out with me. Unless she sees me as a disgrace? Nowadays we still keep in contact, once in a while. She said she'll never forget me and I'll be her best friend for life. I wanna believe it so badly. She hardly has time anymore, not for me at least. It's ironic how she's always the one initiating a meetup and ultimately disappointing me with news like she's not free. But E, I still love you(even though you won't be coming back tmr).

MX, WM and BL are funny people to hang out with. I love all of them. They have their own cliques here and there though, and I know it's stupid but I feel insecure. Like somehow they'll leave me for other friends. Gosh I think I'm cynical. A little too much. I'm thankful for WM for always being there for me, BL for always cracking me up and MX for being a great girl friend. I can't wait to see them bunch of friends tmr :) And B, my classmate of 3 years including this year. I'm glad we got to know each other better and became closer friends. I like talking to him cuz he's sensible and genuine. I'm gonna miss him when he's gone :(

As for I, he's a relatively important person in my life(at least through secondary school). He's been with me through most of my ups and downs. I remember the times, and I must admit I do miss those moments sometimes, like between split seconds. I'm pretty sure everyone thinks about people who, in some part of their life, had an impact on them anyway. I's been busy with work recently. I hope. And I wanna wish him all the best for his O'levels this year. I'm sure he'll do well. I want him to be happy, and find his true love someday.

GP assignment time. I'm so gonna hand it up today as a Teachers' Day gift to my GP tutor since I won't be seeing her tmr. She's quite a nice lady actually if she wasn't that boring.

I do believe in innocence and pure joy. I've never given up on my beliefs. I never will.

today's borrrrrrring.

I like school cuz i like my friends.
But i dont like school cuz of exams and the piling assignments.
I dont seem to like my cca as much anymore. Maybe the passion's fading.

I like the rain, though. And it's raining today. A little too heavy, but it's okay. I really want to start studying. Like someone once said, taking the first step is always the hardest or something like that. Anyway I'm qute happy I set up a new blog for myself, but it's gonna be extremely simple cuz I'm a total noob at htmls and stuff. I only know how to post. So there.

YC's facing a rough patch in his life now, with NS making him moody and demoralizing him. Something as trivial as his friends teasing him hurts his pride and confidence. I hope things will start to smoothen out for him, and that he'll be a happy guy again. I'll try my best to provide him eith encouragement to spur him on in the mean time, if I can even get myself encouraged.