Doomsday! tomorrow.

Today's a good day, definitely better than tmr will be.

I really suspect the school's trying to get everyone into a state depression. Giving us all our results on the same day? I think they're trying to kill us. Perhaps that's why the only sane prinicipal in the college left. Her heart must've been aching for us J1s! =/ okay kidding I don't know why she left, but it's sad.

Back to the topic. Regardless of whether I get promoted or not, tmr will still suck. If I promote, I'll be sad for those who don't. If I don't, naturally I'll be devastated. Sigh. Not a win-win situation, huh. I'm afraid some of my friends might not make it, as much as I want so bad for them to be able to. Xiong is one such case. We're not exactly the best of friends, but he's a great guy and I hope he'll be okay. And B, just do whatever you think is correct. Better for your future, and can lead you to a really successful life. I know we'll all be happy for you no matter what decision you make at the end of the day. Just be brave! :)

Good luck good luck good luck to all 36 saints and dear classmates. Pls promote!!! Good luck to yj too, don't let your mum worry! God bless, everyone.

More than a friend, you are.

Dear Pris,

Thanks for everything today. Not only for the gifts, for sharing your emotions with me, and keep reminding me I must treasure yc. Don't worry, I will. More than anything, this afternoon was a great day spent, with someone who's more than a friend but like what you said, someone who's like family. I also appreciate you for always being there for me and showing your concern whenever something goes wrong. I promise, Pris, that you can always fall back on me.

No emotional day today too, so I'm really glad. Felt like I could really forget everything and just realx, chill and have fun. I'm happy seeing you so joyful and optimistic. Videos were awesome, just that they kept hanging(not cuz I was there) and I didn't really get what was going on in RV. I bet you had fun with my friendster profile you crazy girl :)

Lastly, your speciality pasta was delicious and I'm not lying! Because it was so good, I'm not gonna tell anyone else that's the only thing you can make. :D

Such a dive of confidence

Skipped sch yesterday, met up with T to settle some stuff for our blogshop. Heard sch was quite boring and unproductive, so I guess it's fine.

Last night, yc started his insecurity and lack of confidence mood again. I don't understand why he always does that. It's getting really tiring. It's not that I don't want to share his burden with him and hear him out when he needs a listening ear. Of course I will. But how can anyone tolerate it when he does it every once in a while? And now he's saying he doesn't really wanna tell me about it cuz it'll affect me and I'll become unhappy. Then how can I understand and how should I be able to help him.. The thing is, if he doesn't wanna tell me I feel he shouldn't start by saying today's a sucky day or sth. Or that he feels down - but don't wanna tell me why. Sigh, he's really hard to deal with. I think we probably don't understand one another that well after all. =/

One of his texts went like this, "... have I no weight left? nothing I say or do matters? or am I even capable of something remotely meaningful. why. why why. am I so pathetic." Told him he's not, said alot of things, but it's not like they helped cuz apparently he doesn't feel any better. Like my words don't even mean anything and doesn't take any effect on him. What then does he want me to say? Told him I might want to work at the IT fair this end of Nov since he'll be having his exams anyway, and he's not really supportive of it. Once again he succeeds in making me feel bad by saying "If you think you want to den go ahead ba. guessing you will be with T right.." It's kinda obvious he doesn't want me to? I really really don't understand why he's doing this. I feel so restricted when I'm with him. I can't do things I like, I have to spend time with him. I can't have piercings cuz he doesn't like it. I want to go for dance lessons, he says "later other guys touch you" and no, reassuring the kind of dance I want to learn doesn't involve that didn't matter to him. Now when I want to work, it's like this. AGAIN. I'm really tired, darling. Seriously. I still want to lead a life of my own, do things I want to do. According to him, he "just want and hope than I(he) would feature some part in your(my) plan. I don't want to be left behind. because right now you are moving so fast. I feel left behind and inferior already." Look, how good can your girlf feel if her boyf is forever feeling so low in confidence. So I have to do things not as well to make you feel better? This is draining me and I. Hate. It. It's not making any sense either.

Making an ass out of you and me

Please, don't always assume you know everything and whatever you perceive is correct cuz no it's not. Why can't what I say stand? You just have to go "But that was the kind of feeling I got when I saw your expression." Ya my face is like that so what. You claim to know me so well that you say "I know you're unhappy when you look like this". Have you ever thought maybe it's cuz you don't know me as well as you think? Ask my friends how my face is like when I'm tired. Listen for yourself, if it's exactly the same as what you see.

How can you demand to be more impt than my friends, then?

Boring-est school days

ZZZ. This whole week of school is gonna be dedicated to pw. And it's gonna be so extremely boring. Didn't go to school today cuz I was dead tired and had a bad muscle ache from last night's friendly match at NYP. I think my legs are breaking. My right arm too. =/

Anyhow, I like my pw group cuz at least we're making progress, with most of the credit going to xw of course. She's the man. Hope you guyss had fun in school today, though I know xw will most probably be nagging and complaining away. Haha.

You guys are the best

Birthday this year has been awesome, thanks to everyone.
I totally enjoyed myself and I love every single present okay. For some reason, 90% of them so happen to be pink. Haha I know I like pink, but still.. no need so pink la.

To uncle and unty and yc, thanks for the cake(s) they were really yummy. Chocolate!!! :B Thanks to my crazy friends in school who bothered to surprise me. :) Thanks to everyone else and pris for the personalized gift, you guys were really really sweet.

I enjoyed my 17th. :D

Today's still the 2nd.

Lol I have no idea whether people get the dates mixed up or if they just don't know when my actual nirthday is. XY, YJ, X and S wished me happy birthday over the past few days. Haha thanks but a teeny bit too early. Plus Aunty gave me a present yesterday. I thought it was for Children's Day okay!! Then she said Happy Birthday. Haha is this weird or what. Anyway I love the present, thanks ALOT!! :D

Boy, I really really love her. I texted her thank you for the present and this is what she replied. I felt really touched and warmed when I read it okay. It goes "Glad you like it. You are erally special to us. Wish you a very happy and blessed birthday. Love you always. :)" Omg Omg Omg. How can I not love her. It was so super sweet of her and you don't know how much it means to me.

Also I guess my disappointment about my Dad not remembering my birthday was kinda uncalled for. Sorry I had so little confidence in you, Dad. And thanks for the dinner last night. Although it was only the both of us, it felt so much better than last year's cuz at least there was no arguments or awkward silences since Mum and Bro wasn't there. Still, why does it seem that we can only be happy this way..

Thanks my dear boy for understanding and allowing me and my Dad some private time. I really really appreciate it. And thanks for agreeing to come along with my friends when I say we plan to go out after sch tmr. I'm glad you didn't insist that you wanted to spend my birthday with me alone. Sorry but I guess that would've totally ruined my birthday. =/