Fairytales really don't exist, or do they?

Today was supposed to be an early celebration for our 1 year anniversary. One year ley! Wow. But somehow I just don't feel that elated, and I have no idea why.

Been talking to I.Lim quite alot these days. About yc and relationship problems. It's a nice feeling for us to be still such good friends, as compared to other couples who were once tgt and hardly speak a word to each other anymore. I am truly thankful for that. However, we may be friends, really good friends. But I still feel that it isn't right for us to talk too often? Your girlf might be generous and understanding, but no matter what she's still your girlf. And regardless of how much she says she doesn't mind, trust me, she does. Thanks for lending me your listening ear till 5plus in the morning. I believe we're still really great friends. But I don't think I should bug you with my problems anymore. It seemed okay before cuz you weren't attached, but now you are. I really do appreciate it when you said, "fz you can call me when you have any problems." Thanks, but I really don't think I can, or should anymore. Time should be spent with your gf, not me. You should be talking on the phone with her, not me. Because right now she's your gf, not me. I've lost that privillege long ago.

Yc yc yc yc. I really don't want us to end. I think I still love you, adn I don't want to make any decisions I might live to regret. Pls show me there's still hope for us. I promise I'll try on my part. As best as I can. I don't know if I'm prepared to lose you, and ultimately your family.