you dont tug at my heart-strings no more.

6pm on a wednesday evening like this sees me bored and glued to the screen. Played some fb games to pass time (and unknowingly passed ALOT of time), read blogs, and listened to some old music in my shuffle. Ugh. Might wanna pop by queensway later to give somebody a surpirse. :)

Here comes the rants. I swear I totally have no idea what yc is up to. Just last week his texts to me were all about how he was avoiding me cuz he heard I'm attached and how he can't get over us. Then yesterday, wow I saw him with his gf holding hands smiling so sweetly. Wait a min, don't get it wrong I'm not jealous or anything. Just that he's been guilt-tripping me all this while!!! When I was stupidly thinking how bad I was for crashing his life and sincerely trying to help him in whatever way I can, he was merely.. bullshitting. Why.Am.I.So.Stupid. to even allow that zzz. Still say if I'm attached dont tell him he dont wanna know cuz he wont know how to cope with the news. WTH. Okay fine I honestly feel duped la duh, but no matter what I will still lend him my notes (ugh) - for the sake of aunty. YC, you should feel blessed and thankful for a mum who always has your interests at heart. And now that I've seen for myself that you're happier, I feel so much more relieved, no more feeling bad about you. Will never take your "cannot find joy and satisfaction in life" or "aimless, meaningless life" for real anymore. Lastly for goodness sakes, pls be fair to your girl and stop texting me awkward stuff, thankyou. Cherish her, cuz she seems like a really sweet girl, and is probably far more tolerant and patient than I am. I know you'll never read this, but pls pls find some time to get notes from me okay. You're the one who needs help yet also the one who's always not free. This afternoon tell me cannot meet cuz "i'll be spending time with my girl". Yeah yeah quit your fruitless attempts to make me jealous alr, it'll never work. Didn't work before, won't ever work. And aren't you tired?

I wonder if we can ever really be friends. Before you got attached (idk when you did anyway) you said you couldnt see me as merely a friend cuz of your many reasons. Now that you're attached, you're treating me kinda cold. Is there sth wrong?

Okay dedicated one whole paragraph to yc (though not exactly a dedication).
Didn't hit the books at all today, feeling a little.... unaccomplished. But it's quite a common feeling in me these days anyway. Will do sth about it, maybe tmr. BT2 in one week plus damn.

p/s. thanks for helping me and my friends with maths baby. felt so proud of you when my friends all seem so impressed. ily.