Such a dive of confidence

Skipped sch yesterday, met up with T to settle some stuff for our blogshop. Heard sch was quite boring and unproductive, so I guess it's fine.

Last night, yc started his insecurity and lack of confidence mood again. I don't understand why he always does that. It's getting really tiring. It's not that I don't want to share his burden with him and hear him out when he needs a listening ear. Of course I will. But how can anyone tolerate it when he does it every once in a while? And now he's saying he doesn't really wanna tell me about it cuz it'll affect me and I'll become unhappy. Then how can I understand and how should I be able to help him.. The thing is, if he doesn't wanna tell me I feel he shouldn't start by saying today's a sucky day or sth. Or that he feels down - but don't wanna tell me why. Sigh, he's really hard to deal with. I think we probably don't understand one another that well after all. =/

One of his texts went like this, "... have I no weight left? nothing I say or do matters? or am I even capable of something remotely meaningful. why. why why. am I so pathetic." Told him he's not, said alot of things, but it's not like they helped cuz apparently he doesn't feel any better. Like my words don't even mean anything and doesn't take any effect on him. What then does he want me to say? Told him I might want to work at the IT fair this end of Nov since he'll be having his exams anyway, and he's not really supportive of it. Once again he succeeds in making me feel bad by saying "If you think you want to den go ahead ba. guessing you will be with T right.." It's kinda obvious he doesn't want me to? I really really don't understand why he's doing this. I feel so restricted when I'm with him. I can't do things I like, I have to spend time with him. I can't have piercings cuz he doesn't like it. I want to go for dance lessons, he says "later other guys touch you" and no, reassuring the kind of dance I want to learn doesn't involve that didn't matter to him. Now when I want to work, it's like this. AGAIN. I'm really tired, darling. Seriously. I still want to lead a life of my own, do things I want to do. According to him, he "just want and hope than I(he) would feature some part in your(my) plan. I don't want to be left behind. because right now you are moving so fast. I feel left behind and inferior already." Look, how good can your girlf feel if her boyf is forever feeling so low in confidence. So I have to do things not as well to make you feel better? This is draining me and I. Hate. It. It's not making any sense either.